everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
