nut hugger
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
That was an excessively violent trivia night
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
