Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
