hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize