I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
