he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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