**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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