I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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