Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
We got so high we made milksteak
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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