Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
