Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
