You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
