I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
