we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
