remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
me + whiskey = a bad person
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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