I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
