I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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