I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
