this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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