I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
