I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
