i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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