Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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