Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
