So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
