great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
