I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Randomize
