god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
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