i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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