Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
whose parrot is this?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
