singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
