I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
