its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
