Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
