I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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