After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
