My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize