I need help removing her.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
