My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
