when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I enjoy the company of your penis
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize