I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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