are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
