See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
