guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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