My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
