i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Such a big mess for such a small penis
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
