so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
