and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
