Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
