Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
