Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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