Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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