420 ftw
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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