You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
