I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
