Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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