Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
