oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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