Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize